I just found out that Penelope Cruz wore padded underwear to make her booty look bigger in Volver. Maybe that’s how I could get into the spirit…

I have been using the Moka Express almost every day and with good success. Would Almodovar be proud? I have to disclose a couple of things that are weighing on me with regard to this project…

First, I do not own the house I’m trying to transform into a home, and second, I have two room mates whom I have not informed about my plans to pimp out our common living room, kitchen, dining room, hallway, bathroom, etc. Minor details, right? Also, obviously a lack of funds and lack of interior designing knowhow limits me in important ways as well.

I have been watching Volver (though still not done) and realized that the houses in that film aren’t all that impressive after all. Could this be true of the sets in most Almodovar movies, and I just remember them as more unique than they are? The main characters in Volver are fairly low-class, and they do not live in a city, so their style is very modest. Best scenes are in the restaurant, which becomes a really warm place and a place where the women rediscover themselves, their talents, etc.

In terms of interiors, the only things that have impressed me so far are the courtyards in the old houses they go to in the countryside. They’re big, bright and airy and open… Not something I can emulate in my apartment but certainly beautiful.

I bought one thing that I thought might just belong in an Almodovar-style kitchen. It’s an Italian coffee maker, one that Wikipedia seems to be referring to as the “Moka Express.”

It goes right on the stovetop. When the water in the bottom boils, it shoots up through an inordinate amount of coffee grounds and then out a spout into the top compartment, from which you pour the coffee. It is always strong, and in my house often comes out burned to boot.

Maybe the reason I thought this qualified as an “Almodovar” coffee maker is that I once bought one like this in a Spanish grocery store. Granted, the Spanish grocery store was located in a French-speaking neighborhood in Montreal, and I bought it on the suggestion of a Greek friend who said it reminded her of a great aunt who could tell fortunes in coffee grounds. So it is, at least, a very multicultural artifact. When I brought this new one home yesterday from a Latin grocery near my apartment, it pleased my Dutch room mate. So there you go — Almodovar is, if nothing else, eclectic.

Now after that exercise in justification I will sit down and watch Volver. With an eye out of course for the “Moka Maker” and/or its distant Spanish cousin.

All I did yesterday to advance the goal of turning my apartment into something resembling a movie set by Pedro Almodovar was pick up a used DVD of Volver. And I realized that what I might actually be trying to do is become more like Penelope Cruz. Or at least, the way I imagine Penelope Cruz based on her characters in Almodovar movies, who are always stunningly gorgeous and alluringly emotionally complex.

I admit, I don’t have enough free time to take up a new hobby. Nor do I have the kind of extra income that would be required to pull this off. But here is the plan: I’m going to decorate my apartment in the image of a movie set by the Spanish director Pedro Almodovar. His trademark style is bright and kitchy. I think it’s just what I need to mimic if I’m going to turn this all-white, three story shared apartment into something that resembles a home.

First tasks: take pictures of current state of apartment. Rent a couple of Almodovar movies to remind myself of what exactly this is going to entail. Get inspired.